I begin this series with full knowledge that I am preaching to the choir. I have been this woman. I have done these things ... more often than I care to recount.
I would like you to join me every Monday for the next few weeks as I uncover what I believe to be a very common problem among women today. This issue has become so prevalent that it is dividing sisters of faith.
Women are passionate by nature. Yet, I have noticed a trend which I have taken part in, but I see it all around me; this trend among women is self righteous judgment. We have all witnessed it: in person, at church, in social forums for the world to see. Women, Christian women, believe in something and it becomes so very important to them and when others do not adhere to their standards, then those other women are shunned. These all important standards may pertain to health, parenting, finances, etc. Many times there is no specific Biblical mandate which drives these standards, but these topics are treated as though they were the Gospel itself.
My goal in this series is not to demean anyone for any particular decision they have made personally or for their family. My purpose in this series is to take a look at some of the most common culprits that I find women tend to become quite self righteous concerning.
I would like us to consider the better way to go about these very hot topics. I would like us to look at what the role of a woman, wife, and mother is and how this should affect the decisions which we make. The purpose of this series is to identify what God's best is for women, and how we women can glorify our God in our dealings with each other.
Articles In This Series:
1.) The Homemaking Pharisee: Healthy Eating, Natural Living, Wholly Judgmental (2/4)
2.) The Homemaking Pharisee: Schooled In Schooling (2/11)
3.) The Homemaking Pharisee: To Spare Or Not To Spare (2/18)
4.) The Homemaking Pharisee: Making Biblical The Unbiblical (3/4)
5.) The Homemaking Pharisee: When Medical Decisions Meet Moral Judgements (3/11)
6.) The Homemaking Pharisee: We Are All Bad Mothers (4/15)
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What Are Some Ways In Which You Have Been
Judged For Decisions You Have Made?
Linked Up At:
I had an epidural. Have been thoroughly, if not backhandedly and subversively, condemned for not having had a "natural" birth. (I find that term so silly - I mean, of course I had a natural birth! I didn't pull the baby out of my ear! It was just medicated.) There is no need for this type of derision.
ReplyDeleteNow to "unhypocrite" myself - as though that were a verb, lol - I have had "tsk, tsk, tsk" thoughts about those who don't breastfeeding or who don't breastfeeding for long. I try very hard to not let those thoughs be voiced, but as Christians know sins of all kind occur in the heart. If I am judgmental in thought I have sinned agains my sisters.
Katie, Thank you for your honesty! I will be covering birth choices in this series and how women are so judgmental in this area. I think that birthing is definitely one of the hottest topics these days!
DeleteIt is sad that we make something so beautiful, as birth and new life, into fodder for argument and division.
I don't care what choices people make in childbirth (or breastfeeding, or vaccinating), but I wish people would LEARN about them before them make the choice. If you take the time to learn all the facts about something and make an educated decision on the matter, then you are doing the best you can to take care of the family you love. If you just do something because everyone else does, or your doctor tells you it is no big deal, it annoys me a little. Mostly because I have spent 6 years trying to get pregnant, and have children, so I feel like if God is blessing you with a baby you should take the time to find out how to best care for that baby. But if your conclusion after weighing the pros and cons is different than mine, I don't mind :)
DeleteRachel, if you have followed my journey here at Road to 31 for any length of time, you will pick up on the fact that I am very passionate about natural living and healthy eating. I actually wrote for a crunchy pregnancy blog for quite some time.
DeleteI am actually in the same boat as you. I love to learn and inform - research and educate.
However, during my journey over the last five years I have realized that not everyone is like me, and I have had to learn that, that is OKAY. Yes, it frustrates me when people just do whatever the DR tells them without any thought, but it is not my place to tell them to do otherwise without their prompting that in some way. Just because I would do something one way, and even though I may think it is a better and wiser decision, does not mean another person is sinfully wrong by doing the opposite. This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn.
This is why I am doing this series. This is my journey ... learning that my choices are not Gospel - only the Gospel is Gospel. I still struggle with my passionate spirit, and I pray that God will use it in ministry in a better more glorifying way for Him.
As an older woman with adult children, I can tell you...be true to G-d first and foremost. Let people think and say what they will. He is the only one we answer to.
DeleteI hurt for young mothers who feel judged about childbirth choices. I was knocked out cold when I had both of my children (1970's), and I wouldn't want it any other way. I went to sleep and had a baby when I woke up. Why suffer when you don't have to???
Lindsey - I am very much looking forward to reading your new series and the areas you hone in on. I think all women have at least one area they have felt judged by other women in - natural living, finances, homeschooling, working outside the home, you name it. Women who rest in the atoning work of Christ alone must seek to glorify God first, in all things. We should never love a way of living so much, a budgeting method so much, a way of educating so much, a way of giving birth so much, a way of cleaning so much that we look into another woman's life and call something sin that is not. That is idol worship at its core. I am so very guilty of this myself and am daily walking with renewed conviction in such things. Happy writing dear sister. :)
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, thank you for your kind encouragement. I will be covering pretty much every area you listed in the series where women judge each other. You are right we must seek to glorify God and all else is rubbish. Thank you, sweet friend!
DeleteDefinitely a problem among women, including Christian women. Bravo, for addressing it.
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that, so glad to have moved on! Such a needed topic. Looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteSchooling... public, homeschool, Christian school...
ReplyDeleteGo!
Oh, yes, schooling choices will be touched on!
DeleteI'm looking forward to this!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a great series, I will definitely be back to read the rest!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more from this series of "hot topics"
ReplyDeleteI Corinthians 13 is still in the Bible:0)
Visiting from Deep Roots at Home Link-up
You can find me blogging at Pint-sized Treasures
Alison Wood
I love this series idea! This is such a struggle- we are passionate and we do what we believe to be best for our family, but how to do that without assuming everyone else should be doing just as we are? And how to do that while sustaining ridicule or criticism, without just judging the person back?!
ReplyDeleteThis is more about staying at home than healthy living, but you'll probably enjoy the post I wrote on a similar hypocrisy here:
http://www.weakandloved.com/2011/09/easier-said-than-lived.html
Thank you for your encouraging words, Emily! I will check out your post soon - thanks for linking up!
DeleteLet's see -- I was called a whore for enrolling a teenager in public high school! :-)
ReplyDeleteI actually wrote about this whole tendency to take pride and to judge others. You can find it here: http://virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-it-well-but-keep-it-humble.html
I also wrote this earlier this week -- Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? Not Me Yet!
http://www.comewearymoms.blogspot.com/2013/01/who-is-proverbs-31-woman-not-me-yet.html
OH MY! That is definitely some very harsh name calling. I will definitely be touching on schooling choices in this series. I will be checking out your post sometime soon also - Thank you for linking up!
DeleteI have been that woman, too. Judging others for their choices or judging them for judging me. I'm so glad you are addressing these issues and I will be praying for you as I imagine this will definitely stir up some people. But, just because people may be offended, doesn't mean you should share the truth.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.domesticblissdiaries.com
Thank you for your prayers! I will need them! I am very aware that this will be one of those series that will get mixed reviews from subscribers. I feel very led to do the series though because of both how I have treated others and how I have been treated or made to feel based on so many choices. I agree, I believe it is needed.
DeleteThank you for your encouragement!
Just found you through Modest Mom Blog--And it seems I needed to hear what you have to say at this time. I was working on a post for my own blog (www.haulingwoodandchoppingwater.blogspot.com) about this same type of subject. Looking forward to more of this topic.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
ReplyDeleteAs an "older" woman who has judged many, been judged by many, raised one boy to adulthood, and has one more coming along, all the while loving and serving God...let me tell you the most important lesson I have learned about trying to become the Proverbs 31 woman: She's not real. If you'll notice, she's the Mother-in-Law to be's idea of the perfect woman for her son. And a boy's mom can be pretty hard on a prospective wife! So just remember not to be too hard on yourselves on this journey. Strive to be 'like' her in some ways, but don't try to *be* her. :)