Losing Our Children One By One
In Christian Dating: A Failed Experiment, Part I, we
established that there is not much of a visible difference between
non-Christian and Christian dating. In fact, many of the things that we
would suspect would be different such as sexual encounters and divorce rates
are comparable between both groups.
Our children are not only growing up
and disregarding certain Christian standards, but many of them are abandoning
religiosity altogether.
A 2006 Barna Group study showed that 61% of teens that had been
"churched" grew into adulthood and became completely
"disengaged" from spirituality. The same study showed that only
20% of "churched" teens reached adulthood and carried on with a
similar structure of spiritual commitment which they possessed as a teenager.
These telling statistics were released six years ago, and I do not see things
moving in any more of a positive direction. In my own circle of people I
can name a significant amount of men and women who have walked away from an
Evangelical Christian lifestyle and belief system. This is not only
disheartening, but it is seriously disturbing.
Where Does The Blame Fall?
It is a cop-out to place the blame for our children’s
distaste for all things spiritual at the feet of society, culture, the public
school system, or even our Churches. Is
it a sinful culture’s fault that your children see images of sin all around them? Is it the public school system’s fault that
your children grew up to believe and practice what the world believes and
practices? Is it the Church’s fault that
they did not reverse everything that the public school system taught your child
and religion did not “catch-on” with him or her?
A sinful society is just doing what a sinful
society does. People are sinners so they act like sinners. The public school system is an institution
built to train children in what the government deems appropriate for our
children to learn. Therefore, unbiblical
tolerance, safe-sex practices, Evolution, and the like are part of your child’s
thought pattern and practice when they attend public school. Our
children come home from a day seeing worldly images in our culture and being
taught worldly things at school, and yet we are surprised when worldliness
comes forth from their minds and mouths.
The Church is often treated as a glorified babysitter for
youth. Teens go to church, they hang out
with their friends, they play games and they might attend a little Bible Study
or sermon during the event. The Youth
Minister may even be really good. He might be engaging, entertaining and even
very godly himself, but he is with them only a handful of hours during the
week. Can a handful of hours really
reverse the 40 hours a week of worldly influence that your children receive at
school and then the many hours of cultural influence they receive while
watching T.V., listening to music, talking to friends, etc.?
So where can we lay the blame when our kids
grow into young adults and walk away from the faith we held so dear and lead
lives completely antithetical to the way we showed them when they were young?
The blame often lies squarely at the feet of the parents.
I have heard so many parents of children who
grew up to leave the faith say, “Well, we tried our best, I just hope they are
happy. That is what really matters to
me.” I counter here, “What exactly did
you consider your ‘best’ to be?”
In a
culture, where two household incomes are normative, children are shuffled from
daycare, to school, and then to sports in order to keep them occupied and help them to
be “well-rounded,” I ask where does the training at home come into play? What hour of the day is left for family
training when there are so many things packing our schedules?
The average Evangelical Christian in America
today is completely oblivious to not only the harm, but the damnation that they
are bringing upon their children. I know
that is harsh but please allow me to clarify.
The Role Of The Parents
We are mandated as parents in the Scriptures to teach our
children “diligently” to fear the Lord.
This Scripture does not say that this is the role of the Church, the
Youth minister, or even the Christian school.
A parent’s role is to “diligently” teach their children to fear the Lord
(Deuteronomy 6:7). This means that our
lives as parents should be characterized
by the “steady, earnest, and energetic effort”(Merriam-Webster, I. 2003)
to train our children to fear the Lord.
This is an all-encompassing responsibility that takes much time and
thought on the part of the parent.
In a society, where the parental role is downplayed
immensely, it is difficult to know exactly how to work out this mandate within
the normal family dynamic. Our culture
tells parents that they are not fit to teach their own children. Churches and
their ministers are more knowledgeable and qualified in the Word of God, so
that is where you should go to be taught the Bible. The school systems and their teachers are
more fit and qualified to teach children, so you send your children off to
school to be given a “proper” education that will ensure their success in life.
We expect that somewhere down the line these
two will meet in the middle and somehow our children will be successful and
still come out with a clear understanding of what the Gospel is and how that
should look in their lives.
This is a
travesty on the part of the parent. You
cannot expect anyone to care for your children as much as you do, and you
cannot trust that anyone on this earth can reach their souls as well as you
can. God gave us these children, we
cannot pawn them off on someone else. We
cannot abdicate our role as parents and expect someone else to train them in
the fear of the Lord.
A Word To The Parents Of A Prodigal
I know this post can sound like a strong slap across the face. I want to speak to you directly because pain is not what I mean to bring to you.
It is only through the Power of the Holy Spirit that our children come to know Christ and live a righteous life. Even though I do believe that God does work through multi-generational faithfulness - blessing godly families with godly children - this is not always the rule and we see that throughout the Scriptures.
The Scriptures do give promises to those parents faithful to Him and diligent to teach their children the Gospel. However, we do place our trust that God in His Sovereignty will be glorified how He chooses. We kneel for our children, weep over our children and we still may not see spiritual fruit. We must have faith that our children are in His hands, as we continue to show them Christ through our own efforts and prayers.
A Challenge
So how do you go about teaching your children diligently to
fear the Lord? You must be PURPOSEFUL. As Christians we must be purposeful in all
that we do, not just living our lives by chance but living our lives as unto
the Lord. We should live by the
principles laid out in the Word of God, principles that lead us to righteous
living.
Biblical principles are not outdated;
in fact the opposite is true, they are true for today and the way to life
eternal. If we truly love the Lord, He will
be THE priority. Speaking of the Lord and of His Word will be normative,
expected, and planned in the home. Church attendance will not be prioritized
based on teenage sporting events or feelings of laziness. If the Lord is a priority, He will reign over
every aspect.
If you live in a two
income family and children who attend public school or if you live in a one
income family and the mother stays home with the children and homeschools, seek God’s Word and follow His established principles for Godly
living. Every family has a different situation and different needs, but God can still be honored and children taught the Word of God whatever your circumstances. It is only through the Power of the Holy Spirit that any of our children come to know the Lord and walk in His ways. When we are purposeful about our path, seeking God in all that we do, He will bless our efforts.
I urge you to rethink what your children watch on television and listen to on their IPods. I urge you to know what is being taught to
your children at school. I urge you to
be involved in the spiritual education of your children at Church. I challenge you to not just know what is being
taught, but to think through how it affects your child’s worldview and
understanding of the Truth.
We must be
purposeful and involved in every aspect of our children’s lives. This also includes the aspect of romantic
relationships. The Bible does speak to
this matter. The next installment to this
series on Christian Dating will cover what God’s Best is for our children in the
area of romantic relationships.
We have
established that our best must be God-centered or we are setting our children
up for failure if not in this life, then in the next. God’s Best can be found in His Word. It is life to our bones and when we teach
this to our children from a young age their lives will be full of wisdom and
they will carry this wisdom on to the next generation. We then are not just raising children, we are
raising a legacy.
Don't miss the next edition to this series, Christian Dating: Practice For Divorce. You can follow this series and other posts from Road to 31 by subscribing by Email, Facebook, and Twitter.
Now
Its Your Turn! I Would Love To Hear Your Thoughts And Methods In Raising Your Children To Know And Love The Lord.
The Christian Dating series was first introduced in April of 2012. I am reintroducing it now
because I think it a timely message for every family.
Are
you looking for a comprehensive and inexpensive training resource to
teach your children the Gospel and Godly Living? Check out The ABC's For Godly Children!
Shared With:
The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, Raising Arrows, Moms The Word, Cornerstone Confessions, Time Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Women Living Well, Raising Homemakers, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Deep Roots At Home, Walking Redeemed, Serving Joyfully, Live Called, Christian Mommy Blogger, Raising Mighty Arrows,
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